Fall & it's tricks!

Hoodies & hot chocolate, boots & jeans, flushed cheeks & golden leaves, gusty wind & migrating geese - Autumn was here :-) . The leaves looked bold & beautiful even during their last days. The crisp air sent silent signals through the spine. The change of seasons were happening right before our eyes. With the whole new multicolored look, we had to bitterly say goodbye to 'Summer' & cheerfully welcome 'Fall'. 

                                                  

Along came the Halloween season with pumpkins, ghosts, trick or treat & parades. Children in costumes travel from house to house in order to ask for treats such as candy with the phrase "Trick or treat!". All the houses had ghosts & other scary decors. This was Kavya & Oviya's first 'Trick or Treat' where they dressed up as Bumble bees & went to collect candies in the neighborhood. The cold weather didn't stop them from having fun. Every house was welcoming & every candy we collected was extremely captivating! ;-)

The girls even had a Halloween celebration at their Ballet class. So, the Halloween fever was everywhere!! 

                     

Meanwhile, there was Navratri celebrations & New York trip. The Statue of Liberty was standing there with it's head way up in the sky. Every trip with kids was fascinating. The way Kavya & Oviya held hands & walked together, the way they ate any non-preference food, the way they managed to get through the entire trip were beyond my expectations. My mind just blew off with their amazing 'growing up' phase! :-)

                     

Every time they grow up, there's something new to observe from them. Only when the years roll over & ages multiply, we learn from our experiences & able to provide solutions for a problem from a different perspective. What we thought as right many years back might sound wrong now. Even a child who grow up, by taking all the inputs from whatever ways possible, tends to make not-so-good decisions on it's own. They learn during play, they learn from making mess, they learn from being naughty, they learn from becoming wild. It's only appropriate to guide them during their learning phase & not punish them for not being well behaved. After all, we all grew up the same way.

The time spent with the kids becomes irreversible & the words spilled becomes irreplaceable. 

Squabbling theories...

Honestly, I didn't want Kavya & Oviya to grow up at all. I thought, growing up will take away most of the fun. I wasn't ready to miss their innocence, their charm, their unadulterated mind. I almost carried away with this idea and even thought of having another baby. But, when that grows up I might end up missing the infant stage again :-). Ohh... No.... This looks bad. Before making things any worse, I realized that my own ideas conflicted the reality. As the kids grew older, the fun never diminished, the laughter still echoed throughout the house, my heart got lighter than ever and above all there was a whole new dimension of life waiting every day! Even when the stages of growth like crawling, taking the initial steps, babbling vanished, the inquisitive questions, the excitement of exploring, the tiny works done by little helpers were still there. Every phase seems like a mystery gift filled with completely new & challenging riddles. Talented moms are solving them easily :-). My anticipation has increased now to watch what they're gonna do next while they grow. 

                        

Before the summer came to an end, the kids were relishing it. They were having an extra coating of fun each year they grow up. Now they understood about staying away from running cars, they got the idea of safety limits. It was a lot easier to take them for walks & cycling in the evenings. Our visit to the apple picking farm was a big hit too. Describing the summer days during snowy winter time is making me 'sigh' :-P.

                       

Not every day was sunny & not every hour was perfect. With all the toys spilled around & the scribblings in the walls, neither did the house looked organized nor the cleaning up ceased. But, there were certain things that never changed - the silly, giggly, funny, happy, loving, smiling faces and the warmth & care in our hearts :-).

                         

Raising twins or multiples must be creating perplexing situations for sure. Parents always wanted to keep them in same pace & provide them equal care & equal portions of everything ( love, attention, time, energy ). But, the truth is they are two different persons & treating them similarly is not working out a lot of times. The situations like, 

One likes to go to the school & the other doesn't

One likes us to tell a story & the other wants us to throw her a ball

One wants to nap & other wants to run around ( disturbing the other one ) 

One wants to eat pasta, while the other wants only omelet

(And the list goes on...) will definitely make us crazy :-P.

                         

Whatever it was, both were making all the pieces of my heart smile. Their hearts together carried on conversations as adults could never possibly understand ;-).

The change that never changes!

There came a day when the girls Kavya & Oviya had to step out of their comfort zone & face a different world outside. Though it was hard to watch them take their first steps towards life without me, I've to accept that their learning experience was about to begin in every step they take. A gentle remainder to myself: The world outside is not going to be like the sweetest ice cream all the time. The road ahead is going to be rough & I was nervous about preparing them to walk on it. Come on! I knew this day would come. Why was I making a big deal out of it? 

When the chickens came out of the hen's warmth,

... ... ... .... 

... ... ... ....

"Boom"!! 

It was insane!  :-). 

On the first day of the school, both were crying and crying due to separation anxiety. Even when Oviya got better within 5-6 classes, Kavya was still crying. The teachers didn't want a crying child in their class (?!!), even though we can't expect all the children to be on their best behavior. No worries, we switched their school couple of times to find a perfect one for them. Now both like their school & their teachers and hence the nightmare turned out to be a morning mare :-). Well, there's nothing called a morning mare, right? But, I was experiencing total engrossed mornings once they started enjoying their 5 day school routine that included giving bath & breakfast, getting them ready to providing lunch & dropping & picking them at school.  It felt like rolling on skates without a skateboard :-). 

                   

We thought Kavya & Oviya would get used to different people & different environment if they had variety of exposure. That's when we found the Academy of dance where they learnt Balle dance :-). It helped practice their large motor skills like balancing, galloping, skipping, building muscles in the arms & legs. They started loving it. There aren't much people around them to pamper their childhood days. It's only classes like these keep them occupied. 

                     

Something else was happening with the girls when they started to learn and see things outside the house. They were in the first step to unveil the ignorance & innocence and broaden their independence. I don't know why, their wanting to be independent wasn't pleasing me :-/. Both began using restrooms on their own, started eating on the table with spoon & fork, commenced choosing what to eat & what to wear, initiated conversations & made own decisions. These were happening for good, but 'I' was still waiting to do all these for them. It was a bit hard to watch them say, "Mommy, I don't need your help, I can do it on my own"!!

                       

Ready or not, they are going to grow up more and there's going to be lot of shocking & interesting changes :-).

Height of glee - a success story :-)

It's Kavya's story now. 

She is a sweet little girl who grew up as a mommy's tiny treasure with her relishing side of shyness & charm. We don't exactly remember when it started. It must be after their first birthday, when she got severely sick in India. Later, she wasn't able to eat or swallow solids without gagging & choking. Her throwing up had become a part of her daily routine! Sometimes she even throws up 10 to 12 times a day without any known reason. She looks tired & lethargic most of the times. She never showed interest in any kind of food & feeding times were a big struggle. Even if left for a whole day, she would remain starving the entire day. She gets sick with fever or cold accompanied by vomiting throughout the month. She was also diagnosed with Reflux (acidity in adults) & she had wheezing last winter.  She underwent numerous scans with all possible specialists & even an endoscopy was done only to find out nothing was wrong. She was on all wrong medicines just to find out if anything is making things better. Everything went for vein. It is very common for children with this condition to struggle to get a proper diagnosis, and most children are misdiagnosed with stomach bugs first. 

The day that changed Kavya's life...

Once she had 'tofu' which is made with soy. Exactly after 1.5 hours she started throwing up continuously for more than an hour & became very sleepy & tired. We just thought it was her usual vomiting. After couple of weeks, the feeding specialist told us to do trials with the foods starting with eliminating diary from her diet to see if any change is making her better. That's when we switched the cow's milk to soy milk for her. Exactly after  1.5 hours of having a cup of soy milk, she reacted in a way we've never seen her before. It was a continuous non-stop throwing up for more than two hours & finally she collapsed & became pale. When we were trying to take her for emergency (luckily) she came to her recovery before entering the hospital & started drinking liquids. So we came back, but couldn't figure out what just happened to her. With the help of a friend, we figured out the symptoms could possibly be FPIES ( Food Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome). It's hard to get it, right? Initially it was hard for us too. Everything she told about FPIES was just overwhelming.

Food Protein-Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome (FPIES) is a type of food allergy affecting the gastrointestinal (GI) tract.  Classic symptoms of FPIES include profound vomiting, diarrhea, and dehydration. These symptoms can lead to severe lethargy, change in body temperature and blood pressure. Unlike typical food allergies, symptoms may not be immediate and do not show up on standard allergy tests. When infants who are ingesting a problem food (usually milk or soy-based food) as a consistent part of their diet might experience increasingly severe vomiting, diarrhea, and poor growth, possibly progressing to an illness mimicking a severe total-body infection. There is a characteristic delay of 2-3 hours before onset of severe and repetitive vomiting and eventually diarrhea.  The child may appear very ill and sleepy (lethargic), and may become pale or blue, which in some cases can lead to sepsis-like shock. The most definitive test is a medically supervised oral food challenge (OFC)-where the suspect food is given to the child in a controlled clinical environment. The good news is that kids outgrow FPIES mostly before the age of 5 :-). Until then, we have to keep Kavya safe from her trigger - 'soy' which she was taking in small amounts every day all these days. Nowadays we travel around with a letter from our specialist explaining her condition so that when she has another severe reaction it explains to the personnel in the emergency department what is going on and what treatment is needed. This should be very helpful.

Unfortunately, soy is found in most of the foods including cookies, bread, cake & many other common foods. Fortunately, it became possible to give her a soy- free food by checking out the ingredients of every pack, providing a special soy free snack to her school & choosing a soy free diet while eating at restaurants. After couple of weeks of completely eliminating the traces of soy in Kavya's body, miracles happened in her life. She started eating without chocking or vomiting, her appetite increased significantly & she asked me for food for the first time :-). She wasn't lethargic anymore & became super active like any other toddler. Her reflux symptoms vanished & she's now leading a medicine free life after a very long time :-). Now, I just couldn't get my eyes off my little girl eating & eating throughout the day. I hope all her struggles & pain she underwent finally has come to a full stop! I was desperately waiting for this day when Kavya would stand before us with all her smiles & a strong heart bearing all her life experiences. 

               

There are lot more kids like Kavya, who are still struggling to have one safe food without a reaction. For all of them, I'm sure there's going to be a success story like Kavya when they outgrow it :-)!!

Thank u so much Maureen & Sarah for helping with the diagnosis!

Everyday's acrobatic maneuvers!

Aug 24th 2014 - There has to be something inside everyone that burns like a fire or starts like the igniting wick or just a coal waiting to be exposed to flame. When the urge got stronger & stronger, I flew!! :-). Yes, I'm talking about heights, gusting winds & an enormous dive. The skydiving experience I had happened above 13,500 feet with the speed of 130 mph. Kavya & Oviya were super excited to see mommy in the parachute :-). The moment I jumped out of the plane, I had no idea how desperately my family was waiting to see me back. The fright they had in the mind was way more than me gasping for breath. It wasn't hard for me,

while signing the 'No obligation' declaration or

while boarding the skydiving plane or

while looking at the exclusive view of the earth from such a high altitude or

while my heart was pounding during the free fall & 

even while hanging in the parachute.... 

The hard part was Kavya & Oviya came running towards me & gave a tight hug. One little hug meant a thousand unspoken words. They kept saying 'mommy parachute' & looked so much relieved to hold my hands again. They might have missed me so much. I thought for myself, "my next adventure shouldn't be without them"!! :-)

                    

                    

We did tried to do some petty adventures since summer was still painted beautifully everyday, by the ever loving 'Sun'. We also wanted to make the day to it's best use before the sun changes it's mind :-).

Here's the sneak peek of how a day was well spent. It's brave Oviya who's enjoying a dip in the enormous dancing fountains. Being soaked up like a wet pumpkin, she was still not ready to leave :-P. Kavya made up her mind after getting the taste of little chillness through the spine. She wasn't willing to take the fountain challenge anymore. She remained all wrapped up & cozy for the remaining time lol :-).

                     

Another visit to zoo along with my in-laws came with the package of fun & curiosity. All the exotic animals, reptiles & birds were so close to us near the glass window.

The giraffe was looking for feeding them lettuce.

The flamingo's beak was hard & wide to the sense of our touch.

The iguana was waiting for someone to glide their fingers through it's open holed cage that said 'beware of biting' :-).

The elephant looked care-free about the visitors & continued to eat the dry grass by dipping every bite in the water.

The tiger was definitely trying to catch the kids behind the glass door :-)

The lion seemed lethargic at a distance & the monkeys jumped so close to us & showed scary faces!

               

                 

Sometimes, the moments are gone, captured only in the photographs. When I see an old picture, I wish I could have lived more in the moment enough. I wish I could remember what they ate, what we talked about, how they sounded & how they looked when they went to bed. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing : brush, bath, eat, cook, feed, nap & again a snack, cook, feed, make them sleep... I wish I had treasured the doing the little more and the getting it done a little less.

Not all parents know that they're probably not cut out to be a parent until after the fact!

Love across the wormholes...

The whole life process seems mysterious like traveling through a black hole. No one is able to give a solid definition till now. The same way, every life on earth starts doing certain basic characteristics right after they're born. Nobody taught us to breathe, nobody pushed the fishes to swim, nobody trained the animals to feed their babies. Is that gene? Is that nature? Is that some unknown power? There is also a very strong base that connects the whole earth which is called 'Love'. I see it, feel it, wonder about it every day in Kavya & Oviya since they were newborns. How impressive is to see a newborn getting blindly in love with the mom, slowly with the dad, then with siblings, with friends & relatives!! Without any learning or explanation, without any experience or expectation, the 'love' in kids seems so magical beyond my understanding. When I clicked this pic, my eyes became wet to see the untaught magic happening between these kids :-). How sweet!

                       

With my in-laws' visit, the days became even more interesting. Kavya & Oviya were overjoyed with grandma & grandpa's presence at home rather than watching my boring face all the time :-P. And so the trips started (:-D). 
If the amusement & excitement never diminishes, if the visit never gets bored even after several times, if the heart pounds out of the chest with the breathtaking view, if you ever get suicidal thoughts with the overwhelmed experience ( some actually gets it.. Lol )

It means...

It means...

You're in 'Niagara'... 

                     

My in-laws were totally awestruck with the 'Maid of the Mist' boat trip & the 'Cave of the winds' where we all were drenched with cold water besides wearing rain ponchos. Although,Kavya was little scared, Oviya is one daring little girl who never stopped at any peak of drenching point :-). These kind of trips end so soon!

At times, there are rough days too... 

The days when I need more energy

The days when I lack more patience

The days when I look for extra support

The days when I miss encouraging words

The days when I feel like taking an off ;-)

Though I may not expect a perfect day every time, something keeps me going through all the curves. It's moments like these that make me smile even in a bad mood ;-).

                       

Every mom gets the goodies not in the form of bags, but by watching the cuteness in her kids! :-)

On the boat of life...

June 2014 - Ever had the experience of colors getting brighter, the air becoming softer, the ambiance creating fragrance & the mind feeling lighter ? This happens when we become the part of kid's play :-). This is not exaggerated. I think to keep our life vibrant & blooming, we have to keep carrying the childhood within us. 

I realized, sometimes the importance of letting go of the title 'mom' & believe in giving little independence makes a huge difference. Protecting the kids from rain or hot sun or in snow doesn't help with anything. Kavya & Oviya were getting sick often anyway. In reality, the human body is amazing to withstand all weather conditions. The more they get used to all environments, the more they develop immunity. Moreover, while we were trying to safeguard the kids we were forgetting the basic essence of life. We didn't want to miss the beauty of life anymore. Rain or shine, fog or mist, snow or ice, river or lake we're taking them out. After all, we're born to live in harmony with nature ;-).

                                                        Ice cold water in lake Erie

                 

                                                     Pics courtesy : Prashanth Kishan

The need for doing activities independently and wanting to take things in their own hands were dominating for Kavya & Oviya when they are 2 1/2 years old. Needless to say, they were not ready to listen when they're having fun. Of course, why do they have to come back to the yelling mom (lol) when they are having so much amusement in watching 

the multi-colored butterfly in the bushes

the cuckoo birds walking beside them

the brown bunny hopping on it's way

the rain water touching their toes

the kids riding their cycles or

just the breeze brushing their faces... 

It could be anything or it could be everything. There's a whole lot of world over there. This is how a picture look like when we try to intrude their way. This is applicable for Snowy too :-).

                                     Just trying to pose near Point state park fountain

Meanwhile it was June 27th - Yuvi's b'day

I couldn't hold the excitement until Yuvi came home. Kavya & Oviya did make a fingerprint painting along with me keeping the hands together. I made a book exclusively for him, ' The reasons I love you' stating & picturizing the top 30 reasons :-). Then ordered a couple of big posters, made couple of double layered chocolate cake with chocolate frosting (yummy!), blew balloons & decorated the house, prepared some sweets, ordered few foods outside, invited friends, waited for Yuvi's arrival from office. It's more of 'my proud moment' when I saw the awestruck reaction in his face :-D. There was still a touch of Kavya & Oviya in everything we made. Yayyy!! The celebration was a grand success.

               

Soon after that, I remember a very sensitive incident that happened near our home. While returning from shopping, we met a couple of elderly American men sitting in the nearby car . Kavya & Oviya were dressed with a traditional touch wearing bangles & chain. Since Oviya is more outgoing, she peeped in to say 'Hi' to them. One of the old men( who seemed so calm & loving) held Oviya's both hands & was so much interested in talking to her. He was telling her 'she's beautiful' & couldn't take his eyes off her. It felt very normal until then. When I asked him whether he has kids, he told me he doesn't have kids & added that he would take Oviya with him if I would allow (??!!). The next moment, he cried... I saw the pain & longing in his eyes. There was a moment of silence between us. I just smiled & left. He reluctantly let go off her hands. My heart was throbbing, after all he must've carried so much of aches throughout his life.

                                                    The day that left me with patches

We may not always end up where we thought we were going. But we'll always end up were we're meant to be.